Thursday, July 19, 2012

MY MOM DOUBLE DOG DARED ME!!! THE GOOD OLD DAYS

Mom sent me a forwarded e-mail of remembrances of times past - the 'good old days' as they are sometimes referred to by oldsters, 'ancient history' by younglings.

Her generation is a good twenty years before mine, and her mother's likewise twenty years before hers - nineteen teens through nineteen thirties through nineteen fifties and into now; keep that in mind. 

As I was reading through the text and looking at the photos, it dawned on me that almost all of these things were as familiar to me as they had been to my mother and my grandmother. 

Essentially, not all that much had changed over the three generations we encompass. 

Only a few of the references were 'before my time' and I had a pretty good idea what even those were all about. 

By contrast, I would wager that MY children would recognize a bare few of the photos or thoughts/feelings evoked, and those few only by hearsay or in reference to 'oldies'. 

When people say that EVERY generation has a completely different world to live in and cope with, they may be almost right on some counts - but when I can relate easily and naturally to so many of the same things that both my mother and grandmothers could ... and my children (now adults themselves with children of their own) haven't got the faintest idea of what any of it's about ... 

Well, that says something else, doesn't it? 

It's got me puzzling about it. 

The changes that have come about over the course of my children's lives DO seem to be leaping and bounding, so much so that the memory-making things of my own ... my mother's ... my grandmothers' ... time seem so far distant as to be over the horizon and beyond recall. 

Has the pace of life picked up so drastically that generational sharing of lifestyles has become impossible? 

Oh SUN ON A BEACH !!!

I can't get this concept to gel for me. 

What I want to know is how we have managed, in the course of ONE GENERATION, to have lost that continuity - and why.

The odd thing is that it doesn't seem a gradual loss but more of a sudden realization: HEY wait a gol-darn minute here what the bloody blue BLAZES has happened here anyhow?!? 

How is it that we three generations have maintained so much in common but THIS one is adrift by comparison? 

I have an overwhelming urge to chant 'Mea Culpa' because it must somehow be me. 

OH!

WHEW!

It's NOT just me. 

Granted, there are altogether too many traditions, thought processes, activities, memory-generating things that seem to have gone by the wayside. 

BUT when I stop to think more closely about the way things are NOW, I do realize that maybe just maybe all is not lost. 

Life is NOT the same now; it is, however, still OUR life, the one we've created to pick up where those old memory-makers leave off. 

While the highlights of my young life totally revolved around going to visit my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, I have to try to remember that (back in the day) I wouldn't have been able to Skype my nephew halfway around the world.  My mom couldn't call me from wherever she happened to be and talk to me wherever I happened to be.  I wouldn't have been able to go shopping with my daughter from several hundred miles away.  As my grandchildren grow up, they'll be privy to the same electronics that their parents use with such skill - maybe one day my grand-daughter will be taking me shopping with HER ... via cell phone and data transfer so I can see what she's thinking about buying! 

Yes.  It's different. 

The things I, as the current 'middle generation', have in common with my mother and children are not the same things I, as the 'youngling generation' had with my mother and grandmothers - but we're making our own connections, traditions, activities, memory-generating things as we go along. 

As I move along in the generational line, I had best be paying attention to preserving the concept, if not the specifics, of keeping a connection in place. 

It's a fascinating journey, moving along from youngling to middle to oldster.  It all blends as it rolls along.

Too TOO often the challenges and struggles of the journey seem to be overwhelming and I lose sight of those cherished others who are on this self-same journey WITH me. 

And to that I WILL say:  Mea Culpa

Our work and life schedules are all different these days.  Few of us have nine to five jobs with every weekend off; fewer indeed are the stay at home moms of times past; fewer yet are generational family gatherings where the whole clan gets together to catch up on what everyone else has been up to and to bond as a unit.  We can NOT change the way things are back to the way they used to be - but we CAN make the most of the resources we have at our command.

We may not have the luxury of being able to gather very often as a big group.  We DO have the luxury of being able to visit with one another at will.  Electronics, when work and life schedules keep us apart, can and will keep us connected.  LOL and OMG have become a part of our vocabulary that my grandmothers would NEVER have recognized in their day.  Were they around now, you can bet your bottom dollar they'd be on top of it, just as my mom is. 

Back in the day answering machines were either non-existent or rare.  If you wanted to talk to someone on the phone you had to catch them when they were at home. 

Now I can talk to or text people whenever I want, and leave messages on any number of their devices or electronic accounts; and the reverse likewise.  We may not be immediately available for our communications, but the messages get through.  We can go places and do things together whether we're in the same place at the same time or not. 

Family conferences have been enhanced by electronics.  You can be there even if you're not there. 

Heh heh ... we're all there even though none of us is all there. 

Sometimes I wish it could be more like the 'good old days' but then I do remember that THESE ARE GOOD DAYS TOO.  Traditions change and generations advance, but life is an ever-onward process; would we really want it any other way?  Nope.  And a good thing too because we really don't have much say in the matter! 

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