Taking a Stand

We see things on line all the time, inspirational ditties, encouraging photos, touching stories, and we share the heck out of them, hoping their messages are getting through to the people who need to hear them.

I write books. 

So what, you want to know.

So what?

For me the words I write, and especially the ones I publish, reflect something inside of me - they aren't just words to fill up dialogues in scenes.

So if I'm faced with a situation where I have to make a decision, my own words haunt me. The Characters of those books take their stands again and again and again because it's the right thing to do.

Every time we see some little thing that one person is doing to harm another in any way, whether it's name-calling, belittling, physical, or any other kind of mean thing, we get a chance to prove ourselves. Nobody is likely to know the difference if we choose to just let it go, pretend we didn't hear or see or know, and sweep it under some rug in our mind. It's a personal, private, choice.

The thing about that is this:  Every time we let something go, we're just strengthening the guilty and our silence adds to the harm. When a person has been hurt and nobody stands up for them, what message do you suppose they're getting? When a person harms another and nobody stands up to them, what message are they getting? When you let something go, what message are you giving to yourself?

Your answers are your own, for your own self to think about.

Mine are already on the public record. Every time - from the moment Drustann and Alianora took their stand in the very first book of SONG and thought they were all alone, to the unity at the end of DANANN - every one of those times binds me to follow the lead of the Characters I write about.

But, I tell myself, the Characters always have one another. They never have to take their stand all alone. I don't have anyone to stand with me ... so I hesitate. I'm not sure I'll be able to handle being alone if I take a stand.

Well now.

For starters, how alone do you think that person feels, the one who is being harmed while nobody comes to stand up for them? If I stand up for them, they are no longer alone and neither am I. A third person might see us standing together and come to stand with us. Another one might see our little group and come too.

Lots of time, even just one person taking a stand alongside of another will be more than enough to make a bully stand down. Add another to the equation, and another, and another ... the message becomes clear. We don't behave that way here. We tell you 'NO' and we mean it. You will not harm others.

One person alone who believes nobody will come to stand up for them is likely to just keep on taking whatever gets dished up to them. Fear is a paralyzing thing, something that can and does and will keep a person from standing up for himself or herself.

I tell you this: you cannot advise someone to 'stand up for yourself' and then turn and walk away. Unless you are ready, willing, and able to take your own stand alongside of them you'd best keep your yap shut and go hide in a hole somewhere because you've just done harm to someone already hurt. You have swept them under the rug along with whatever else you have deemed rubbish.

Who among us has never felt all alone, hurt and afraid, thinking that even if anyone knew they wouldn't come to stand up for us?

Hmmm?

I've felt that way and I bet you have too at least once in your life.

What would you have given for even the hope of one person standing up for you?

If by chance someone in your life has once stood up for you, you are bound by that person's choice to choose likewise when it comes your turn to either take a stand or stand aside.

The Characters of SONG are not creations of a fertile imagination. They are based on people I have known and now know.

From DANANN:
"... believe you me, we intend to ... put a stop to this ... "
"What if it's dangerous?"
"Then it's dangerous. We will do what we have to do when we have to do it. Our ... own ... will not be treated thus, not if we can help it."

The above words are not a direct quote from any particular person of my acquaintance. They are a distillation of the essence of the determination of many I've been lucky to have known ... and in direct opposition to others who want only to sweep things under a rug already lumpy with what's under it, to minimize, sugar-coat, ignore.

Yeah.

See, the problem with sweeping things under that rug is that they stay there. Eventually they build up and make lumps under the rug, and grow into big wrinkles and such that people trip over, even the ones who swept them under there. It gets to where people don't want to risk walking on that rug for fear of what all's under it. They can't see it but they feel it.

Sometimes it's little things; sometimes it's important stuff ... whichever, the accumulation is inevitable and so is the fact that one day the rug will have to be taken up for cleaning.

Every time we let something slide, every time we stand aside, every time we look away we're adding to the collection that's growing under our rug. And we begin to stumble over the lumps and wrinkles.

Comes a day when it's time to clean house, folks. All of those things we so carefully swept aside under the rug, they're going to be a foul find indeed.

One day I'm going to have to clean under that rug and I will find all those things I let slide, I'm going to see all of the times I stood aside, and I'm going to see all the times I looked the other way.

And so are you.

So are you.

I know I'm guilty. Mea Culpa. I can't change the past, but I can stop sweeping stuff under that rug today. 

For once, just for one time, let today be the day that you don't let it slide, you don't stand aside, you don't look the other way.

'What if it's dangerous?'
'Then it's dangerous.'

'Do what you have to do when you have to do it.'

One day you might be the one all alone. Be the person who chooses to stand up for someone else, because one day you will be that someone else. Do you want to be swept under a rug?