Since we are a decided minority, rare as hens' teeth, the other 98.9% (or so) MIGHT (doubtful, but maybe ...) be interested in knowing what sorts of things our little group has to contend with that they don't.
Just last night I got hit with a deluge, unexpected, and I reckon I'm not the only one in the whole wide world to have felt it (we're a small percentage but we're still many).
It was that man in Vegas kicking loose with some seriously bad energy, and the initial confusion, fear, pain, and anger first of the tens of thousands of our folk he took aim at and then of most of the rest of us as we learned about the attack.
That much energy whomping into the air can and does and will have an effect on INFJ, whether we know its origin or not.
In a sense, we could be compared to plants - take the carbon dioxide out of the air, process it, and send it back out as oxygen. The difference is that we ourselves have absolutely NO use for what comes into us from out of the air, and it's a painful and frequently traumatic process, not to mention exhausting. We have zero control over what's out there that might 'invade' us at any given time. We are rarely the originators of what has to filter through us, either.
But it is what it is, as my girls would say.
You know what's the hardest for us to process, at least what's hardest for me?
Injustice.
War itself is bad enough, and difficult, but ... warriors are warriors; they know what they're getting into and they know how to do what they do. It's their job.
Remember Desert Storm back in the day?
That affected me - but it was what happened shortly after that time that put me face down on the floor, not having a clue what on Earth had laid me out. I knew it was something, so I went looking. I tended to avoid the news at the time, as it was mostly just disturbing to my peace of mind, but I had to find out, if I could (sometimes you just can't and you never do know what it might have been) what had happened. Turns out it was the slaughter of innocents. Injustice - absolute hate-filled injustice.
Last night, because I did have the news on and knew it was Vegas, I at least had a heads up. So I was prepared for the proverbial sledgehammer to hit. It still knocked me for a loop but I diverted a lot of what was flowing through me onto something else, a picayune irritation that I could still justifiably 'rant' about, something my on-coming morning staff could at least have a hope of 'understanding'. There's no way in this world in which we live in that I could have even come close to expressing exactly what was happening to me. I reckon it might be construed as 'over-reacting' to something that's actually nothing I'd normally even notice, but ... I used a ridiculous little thing to divert/deflect from the very-much-larger issue. When I got home to some alone-time is when I could at last 'send it on through' so to speak, when the physical and emotional ramifications wouldn't impact anybody else. There's absolutely NO point in even trying to 'explain' what cannot be comprehended ... all it does is confuse people.
As our world seems to be constantly in conflict, with injustice flaunting its power every which way from Tuesday these days, I think a lot of people sort of become immune to the whole ordeal except when something of great magnitude leaps onto the radar.
INFJ has no immunity to such things, ever.
So how do we cope?
As best we can.
Fortunately we are the chameleons of the personality-type world and early on instinctively adopt whatever self-preservation tools best suit the situation. Eventually, as soon as we can get some alone-time, those emotional chickens come home to roost and we have to sort it all out - but in the meantime you might never know what's going on inside of us.
We'll use things like putting up invisible shields, if we can. We'll cognitively separate ourselves from whatever it is, if we can. We'll find a way to enforce the alone time we need for healing and for 're-charging' our shields so we can keep on keeping on. We'll, if we're both lucky and determined, learn to 'flip' the crap we cannot avoid as fast as we can and send it back out as something positive, or at least neutral.
Unless you've 'been there' you won't understand us. We don't expect true understanding but deeply appreciate respect for what it takes just to be us in a world that can't understand and mostly doesn't want to. We are expected to 'conform' so it really is a fortunate thing that we have that capability. We can generally at least adapt to folk who will not even try to recognize what we might be up against at any given time.
Do we whine about how hard our lives are to live?
Not usually.
There's no point.
If you're INFJ you already know.
If you're not, you never will know.
So we just cope as best we can and keep on keeping on as best we can.
We are instinctive people readers but even people who know us still lie to us ALL THE TIME. Is it uncomfortable to know that someone's lying to you? Of course it is. We rarely call anybody on it, but you can bet that we know. Why don't we call it out when it happens? Because we're also the ultimate in conflict-avoidance. If you 'get it' that it's damned uncomfortable to be lied to and know it, you can maybe guess how horrible it would be for us to be constantly calling out every lie. My opinion is that it's an act of grace to let almost all of the lies slide - the other person has reasons for lying (which we also pick up on, by the way) so not only would we be intensely uncomfortable if we made an issue of every lie we're told, we'd also be making the other person almost as uncomfortable. Which, just to complicate things, totally goes against our rules of personal integrity. We aren't in the business of hurting others. People lying to us or about us is hardly ever a battle we'll choose to pursue. It irks us to no end but most of the time it's not a worthy battle.
It's when others are affected that we're more likely to step up and speak out, which brings us right back to that injustice issue.
If/when we take a stand on something it's going to be something that's worth it. When we act, it's almost always instinctively. We kind of just know stuff ... makes things awkward at times if we're expected to explain ourselves, our motivations, our criteria for doing what we do (or not) ... what are we supposed to say? My gut says so? The fact that our guts are practically always dead on isn't always immediately apparent based on what's available to the five traditional senses, which too frequently means we keep our mouths shut when we ought to be opening them.
And so be it.
When I don't trust somebody there's a reason for it. I might not be able to articulate it and you might not be able to see it, but the reason is most assuredly there, and valid. Likewise when I DO trust somebody that others look at sideways.
Yet another battle - the people thing.
INFJ gets 'peopled out' because people are energy suckers, like vampires. Believe me, most of the energy we get stuck taking in (against our will) is NOT an addition to our own reserves. Inevitably it costs us more to process than we would gain even if the energy was positive, which it mostly is not, at least not in our terms. You would not believe the expense involved in making small talk or showing an interest in something that somebody else likes but that we think (but would never SAY) is just a waste of time and energy to even discuss let alone actively put any of said time or energy into.
We can and do love being in social settings, because we love people in general. It's just costly for us. When we walk away for a bit of alone time, we're doing it to generate more of what it takes to interact because we want to share that interaction. Because you matter enough to us that we want to be able to afford to spend more time with you. If that means taking a re-charge break, that's what it means. It's kind of like going to the bank or to an ATM when you're going shopping. If you're close to INFJ you'll 'get it' and if INFJ is close to you s/he might make sure you understand. Sometimes it's tempting to have a code to avoid misunderstandings when we have to walk away in the middle of something. INFJs, it might not hurt you to do something like this. You do NOT need an excuse (going to the bathroom, taking a smoke break, checking on something). Just come right out and say, 'I'm going to the bank' if you're among friends. Of course, if they're friends in the first place they no doubt already know - but if you and your friend are among others who do not know, a code of some kind so s/he can let the others know that you're not just bored and being rude by walking away in the middle of a conversation or activity or whatever. 'Excuse me but I'm peopled out' is likely NOT a phrase of choice, however. The implication is that you've had more than enough of their company (which may or may not be the case, but saying so out loud is probably going to be construed as an insult whether you mean it that way or not).
If you're fortunate enough to run across somebody else who can and will spend hours on end discussing things most people have never even thought about, cherish that person. Don't ask me to explain it because first of all I can't and even if I could I wouldn't - but time spent with such persons is like hitting a serious jackpot in terms of energy. Instead of you having to constantly spend your reserves in their presence, you'll find said reserves growing. Weird? Yep. But true. I ain't even kidding you.
Pffft.
Enough already.
The battles of INFJ are infinite in quantity and scope.
All we can do is the best we can do, and hope for enough renewal on a regular enough basis to keep us going. Yes we are a distinct and very tiny minority, percentage wise. So be it. We respect others a heck of a lot more than they even try to respect us, generally speaking. And we're, generally speaking, okay with that. We truly do understand you a heck of a lot more than you understand us, and for that you ought to thank your lucky stars.
One thing more, however.
One battle you do not want to be even remotely close to is the one that happens when INFJ has finally FINALLY had it.
INFJ has a formidable intellect and skills we haven't even touched on in this post, creativity being one of them.
You might not even know you've crossed a line until it's WAY too late.
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