Tuesday, August 11, 2015

SASS TELLS A STORY OF FRANCE



Occasionally I'll run across something while looking for something else, and be quite happy about the detour it takes me on.

The below is sort of one of those things. I was digging around in the files of research for the Alianora Books (500-800 CE) and found some things that more properly belong in the Sass research files (800-1100 CE) ... 

While doing said research, I had been having a heck of a time keeping the different 'era' events clearly in my head. What follows is a part of the story of France's history - as told (essentially) in a very 'Sass' kind of way.

It's kind of a long piece, relatively speaking, at 3500 words ... but is still basically only a synopsis. What a busy world we live in, past and present - and future for that matter.

And so ... Sass tells us a little about France ... the time of the story is 879-987 CE ...

Louis II through Louis V of France

In case there are any conspiracy theory fans out there, here’s a set of circumstances for your perusal. This bunch of Carlovingian Kings of France … somebody must have cursed their line …

Louis II (the Stammerer, musta stuttered) reigns only 18 months, and those are filled with internal fighting because his chiefs, vassals, and an abbot, mainly in Aquitaine (never really took to Frankish rule) align themselves against the crown – not Louis II himself in particular, mind you … just The Crown in general.

Plus the Vikings, aka Normans, are back.

Anyway, he gets sick and dies on his way to try to fix things with Aquitaine.

Leaves two teenagers, he does … kind of reminds me of Theodosius and HIS two – except that THESE two brothers act together to try to stop the Vikings (um, Normans) … 

The older one, Louis III, is barely sixteen and the other, Carloman, is maybe thirteen at the time their father died. There’s also a baby brother but he doesn’t count, being as he’s the son of Louis II’s second wife (divorced his first one) and born posthumously to boot. They will refer to him as Charles the Simple.

Anyway, their father Louis II suddenly takes sick and dies a year and half into his reign, in 879.

The boys, together – Louis III in the west and Carloman in the east (I think – if you find it a matter of urgency, look it up), have but three short years before Carloman’s ruling alone, and he has only two years of that …

They are opposed from the get-go.

The abbot of St. Denis, with help, tries to get Louis of Germany onto the throne, to no avail … and said abbot, Gozlin, has to leave the realm.

Then this guy Boson gets himself declared king of Provence by the bishops and nobles there.

Once these teenaged kings get their crowns firmly on their heads, the brothers take on the Vikings (Normans)  – stop them, they do – but then some who had hidden themselves sneak up in the night and scare the bejayzuz out of the victors before taking themselves off to loot Germany for a while.

Sigh.

So.

Louis III either falls off his horse or gets sick (like his father?) and dies. He’s 19.

Carloman goes back to fighting the Normans, who don’t just go home after he beats them but stick around and raid in smaller bands all over the place until Carloman opts for buying them off so they’ll leave the vicinity again, instead of trying to chase them hither, thither, and yon.

Two years after his brother gets dead, Carloman dies in a hunting accident, either from getting stabbed by a stag or by getting shot with an arrow allegedly aimed at said stag. He’s 18.

So they’re both gone.

Instead of granting the baby the crown, they give it to Fat Charlie, Emperor of whatever – ah, Charlemagne's empire – because they think he’ll be a stronger force against the Normans.

Ha.

That’ll teach them to think.

Apparently this guy isn’t very nice.

He invites a chief of the Normans to a meeting but, instead of going to meet him, has him assassinated.

Well now.

This kind of makes the rest of the Normans mad.

They get together the biggest force yet and lay siege to Paris in 885, bringing their boats and the whole nine yards.

Instead of rushing to the aid of his people, Fat Charlie dicks around for a year or so in Pavia, wherever that is.

So Paris is on her own and holds out against this big strong Norman assault for all that time.

When Fat Charlie does get around to showing up he doesn’t take on the Normans, although he does get as far as Metz where apparently he just sits around and does not much of anything in particular. Eats, maybe. I don’t reckon they call him Fat Charlie for no good reason.

Finally the brave Count Eudes of Paris has just about had it with this whole situation.

The Normans are trying to get past the ramparts six ways from Tuesday, the moats are filling up with the rotting corpses of French people, food is running out, and yada yada … enough is enough already.

So Eudes sneaks out of Paris, right?

He sneaks through the enemy camps and goes to Fat Charlie in Metz to give him what for.

Really, what the heck kind of king sits there and lets Paris be under seige for a whole dang year without lifting a finger to do anything about it?!?

Under the impression that said king is actually going to finally do something, Eudes sneaks back through the enemy camps to Paris.

Unfortunately for him, it seems somebody snitched on him. They do say that he had to fight his way back into the city and got his sword all bloody in the process.

And here comes Fat Charlie to the plain of St. Denis.

When he sees what he’d be up against, he pays the Normans 7,000 pounds (weight) of silver, offers them safe passage on the Seine, and suggests they head for Burgundy.

This they agree to, and aboard their boats they go, to take the water route (the Seine) past Paris.

Um.

No.

Paris isn’t going to let them through and they shoot the captain of the first boat that tries it.

So the Normans bodily pick up their boats a couple of miles outside of Paris and carry them on their backs to a couple of miles on the other side of Paris … then off they go to wreak havoc in Burgundy.

Fat Charlie has managed to make everybody mad at him so he gets deposed and Charlemagne's Empire gets dismantled into eight separate kingdoms – which was probably just as well since nobody’s getting along with each other anyhow.

France’s new ruler is guess who.

Eudes of Paris.

They pass over little Charles the Simple again. I bet that made his mother kind of mad but who knows – maybe she was relieved, all things considered. But ... for all we know she had a hand in the untimely deaths of her stepsons … paving the way for little Charles, you know ...

Anyway, Eudes takes it to the Normans in no uncertain terms and kicks their backsides from hell to breakfast, only to have more of them show up and pick up where the others left off in totally wrecking everything they can get their hands on.

He finally has to resort to paying them off, which kind of gets them off his back but makes the nobles and such pretty mad because they’re the ones who are getting stuck with all the bills.

So they up and make little Charlie king after all.

Luckily for all involved, the responsibilities are shared by Eudes (whew!).

When Eudes dies in 898 he tells everyone to go with Charles as king and gets his own house off the hook of inheriting the curse of the throne of France. Okay, I made that last bit up, but apparently he did tell them that Charles was sole monarch.

And so things go from bad to worse. The whole shooting match is now in the hands of the nobles and etc. Nobody is even bothering to fight or buy off the Normans any more and the people are paying through the teeth just to live.

Things get so bad that the Normans don’t even have anything left to ravage.

So they settle themselves down and become colonists instead of raiders – new towns and such come into being where the old ones have long since become barren.

And here comes good old Rollo again. This is the guy that had been bribed by Charles the Bald in 876, and then was in on the siege of Paris.

Now he goes about burning the monastery of St. Martin of Tours, sacking Bourges, and marching into Paris.

So Charles the Simple hands over his daughter Gisele, gives Rollo rank, and gives him the whole province of Maritime Neustria from the sea to the river Epte – the Duchy of Normandy.

And Rollo is in.

He’s supposed, as a gesture of submission, to kiss the foot of Charles.

*snicker*

He doesn’t.

Neither does the guy who’s supposed to step up to the plate and do it for him.

Oh, he goes up to the throne all right.

But instead of stooping, he raises said foot of said king up and uses it to topple the king from off of his throne.

Bet that got a few Norman laughs and a few French growls. Ah no, they took it in silence I understand. Fancy that.

Rollo is duly baptized as part of the deal, with Eudes’ brother Robert Duke of France standing as his sponsor.

The old warrior marries Gisele and turns his new lands – Normandy – into something wondrous, apparently.

Well, who was going to argue with him about how he wanted to do anything? Who would even want to try to stand against him? His own people were on the same page as him, and anyone who didn’t like it was free to leave his realm, or die I guess. All things considered, he had a darned free rein and used it quite very well thank you very much.

Kind of reminds me of Alaric some, only with a really deep and wide mean streak. I betcha Rollo never had a sword whose name was Kindness. They both (bottom line) wanted homelands for their people. Alaric asked time and again and his people paid with their blood fighting for someone else’s gain, trying to ‘earn’ a home … they ended up in Aquitaine by fighting to protect it. But that’s a whole different Story, that is.

Back to topic.

Once Rollo has a homeland for his people, he and they settle down and create peace for themselves – the hard way, they get that peace; but I would bet they think it worth the price.


At the above site on page 284 it says:

“… according to Oderic Vital, ‘a child might have traversed his domains, with a purse of gold in his hand, without fear of molestation.’”

The same source says that Rollo once hung a pair of golden bracelets on the limb of a tree and they stayed right there for a good two years without anyone touching them. The rebuttable presumption is that he eventually went hunting in that same area and took them down his own self. Since there’s nobody to rebut said presumption we’ll just go with that.

Charles the Simple, meanwhile, is proving his simplicity.

His best friend Haganon seems to be calling the shots – and he overshoots himself, or shoots himself in the foot, when he doesn’t let Henry Duke of Saxony and Robert Duke of France in to see the king when they want to tell him about some crappy stuff going on out there in the kingdom.

Makes them mad, that does.

In 920 everyone gets together, meet up with Charles, and one and all they break their ‘reeds or wands of office’ and throw them at his feet.

Charles the Simple is deposed.

Robert Duke of France becomes king by acclamation. Or election. Take your pick. He gets to sit on the throne and wear the crown.

Charles goes away to Lorraine and Robert follows him for no real good reason that anyone can figure out. Maybe he just wants to see where Charles is going.

Dear Haganon hires himself a Norman army and surprise surprise there’s a fight.

King Robert, an old guy by this time, grabs his own banner and charges hellbent-for-leather at the banner of Charles. Charles warns his standard-bearer in time and Robert's attack ends with his own head at his own feet. So to speak.

Howsomever, Robert's son Hugues goes on to win the day and Charles goes on his way to Germany to see if Henry of Saxony might have mercy on him.

Now Hugues isn’t all that interested in wearing any old crown, bless his heart, and asks his sister Emma what to do. Being as she’s married to the Duke of Burgundy (Raoul) the crown goes to Raoul by order of Hugues.

Sigh.

No, that’s not the end of the story.

Rollo, just to stir the pot and rile things up, now that the whole mess is settled, declares himself for guess who –

That’s right.

Charles the Simple.

He says it’s because that’s the king he has sworn allegiance to, and maybe he wasn’t really lying about that.

Hindsight being 20/20 and everything being a matter of perspective, consider how things might have evolved if France had put Rollo in charge of the whole shebang instead of just giving him Normandy.

Ah.

You can’t expect people to go that far, given the history Rollo had already inflicted on them.

At any rate, nobody agrees with Rollo, not that I believe he really expected them to.

Charles becomes the prisoner of Herbert Count of Vermandois by devious means; Herbert trots him out once in a while when he wants something from king Raoul, but he never gets set free. If they spoiled him, as they well might have even though he was a prisoner, he might not have minded it too much. At least he was safe.

Meanwhile, Charles’ wife Elgiva takes their three year old son Louis to her brother Athelstan of England and Louis does indeed end up on the throne down the road a piece.

Rollo himself dies at a ripe old age a little while after Charles is taken captive. His son William Longsword takes over …

King Raoul dies in 936 without a son so poor Hugues again has to decide who to put on the throne.

This time he gives it to the logical recipient, Louis IV, son of the now-dead Charles the Simple.

By now Louis IV is a whopping sixteen years old and Hugues decides he wants Burgundy.

Good grief.

Burgundy Hugues cannot have.

So he decides he wants Laon – which is really all that Louis IV has. So he says no and they have a fight over it. Emperor Otho saves Louis IV’s bacon but Hugues is pretty darned powerful …

So Louis IV goes to Aquitaine and gets a lot of sympathy but not much else.

Everyone’s sick and tired of all the fighting. They just want their lives back – like the Normans up in Normandy, they want their lands and their homes to be safely their own again, productive and yada yada ...

Speaking of the Normans … William Longsword has gotten himself assassinated by Arnoul the Count of Flanders in retaliation for William helping out an enemy of said Count.

Now Richard, William’s son, is only ten years old and illegitimate to boot.

Louis IV heads for Normandy to accept the homage of Richard, which is duly performed, assigns himself Richard's guardian, and hies him off to Laon (castle of the king, Louis’ home).

And keeps him there.

Yep.

And they called his father simple.

Richard’s governor (prior teacher?) Osmond sneaks into the castle disguised as a groom for the horses, gets Richard the Fearless bundled into a bunch of hay, and carries him over his shoulder out of the castle grounds to a waiting conveyance and they get the heck out of there and back to Normandy.

So what does Louis IV do but enlist the help of Hugues Duke of France of all people – they’re going to get rid of this Richard kid and split Normandy between the two of them.

I tell ya. The father has nothing on the son when it comes to simple-mindedness.

They get to Normandy and everyone just leaves them alone (which really ought to have told them something, right?). Louis picks a fight with Hugues and sends him packing back to Paris.

Ditto above statement.

We’re up to 945 now, in case you were wondering.

Anyway, a honking big bunch of Danes come on down to Normandy, into all that nice quiet peace-loving ‘innocence’, to help out (they owed Richard’s father William a favor - and probably really just wanted the fun of the fight) and kick the everlivin’ daylights out of Louis IV. He runs for it but gets himself captured.

Although it goes against his grain, Hugues gets together the ransom to free Louis IV from captivity in Rouen – and then takes him prisoner his own self.

Poor guy.

Now he’s got to sign Laon over to Hugues after all in order to get his freedom. So he’s got no power, no land, nothing at all – and goes a-wandering destitute among his people, a sorrowful sight …

Uffda.

Louis IV goes to his brother-in-law Emperor Otho for help but the help isn’t really all that helpful. Otho is also brother-in-law to Hugues, you see. Being between fighting brothers-in-law is no doubt not a safe place for anybody, no matter what title you carry.

Finally the Pope has to decide, and even then Hugues is darned attitudinal, sneering at the threat of excommunication and demanding this that and the other thing.

And he started out being such a nice guy.

Geez.

Anyway, Laon goes back to Louis IV but Hugues gets to keep all the power.

Heck of a deal, that.

In 954, four years after all this, Louis IV dies when his horse falls while chasing a wolf.

Really.

Those French kings ought to just stay the heck off of horses.

And here we go again.

Louis IV’s son Lothaire is only thirteen when his father dies.

Hugues, true to his not-so-nice-guy nature, demands and gets Aquitaine, just like he tried to get Burgundy.

Same results.

William of Aquitaine is having none of that.

And the fight is on for a couple of years – until by the grace of the Almighty and to the relief of all (except presumably Hugues himself) the guy finally bites the dust.

Well now.

We’ve got fifteen year old Lothaire on the one hand and his ten year old first cousin Hugh Capet on the other. Their mothers are full sisters – and I can’t even begin to imagine what in the world their lives had to have been like.

These sisters, Gerberge and Hedwige, have some powerful brothers: Otho Emperor of Charlemagne's territory, and Bruno Duke of Lorraine and Archbishop of Cologne.

With their respective husbands at long last out of their hair, the sisters get together with their brothers and the family makes a decision.

The boys Lothaire and Hugh are going to be raised together from here on out – and that’s all there is to it. Enough is enough of the bickering and fighting already.

And guess what.

It works.

The two of them have each other’s backs for keeps.

*chuckle*

Emperor Otho dies, right? And his son Otho II takes over in Lorraine, first cousin to these two.

They come to ‘take’ him just as he’s sitting down for a nice fancy feast – he gets away, leaving his meal for his cousins to thoroughly enjoy.

Vowing vengeance, Otho II tells his cousins that he’s going to ‘sing Alleluia at the walls of Paris like it’s never been heard before’ or some such …

And he does.

Scares the livers out of everyone when his army shows up at Paris fully outfitted for serious battle.

And they do indeed sing :  The Canticle of the Martyrs – Alleluia! And Te Martyrum candidatus Laudat exercitus Domine! – which probably scares everyone even more.

Then they turn around to march home, carrying the booty they’ve collected along the way …

Mm-hmmm …

They get caught in a river flood and lose all that booty, plus cousin Lothaire takes out their rear guard for good measure.

So it isn’t all just fun and games.

Even so, there doesn’t seem to be much angst among the cousins, to be honest, relatively speaking, for the time.

On the other hand, Lothaire gets dead allegedly by poison at the hand of his wife Emma in March of 986. Not the same Emma that Hugues asked for advice – for heaven’s sake that was how many generations ago now?

Lothaire’s son Louis V is more than a little upset with his mother and her (presumed) lover Adalberon Bishop of Laon.  He threatens them but probably doesn’t follow through; reigns for fourteen months only before he too dies of poison at the hand of his wife Blanche, who wants (and gets) Uncle Hugh Capet as her new husband … whether the story is true, we don’t know; whether Hugh has any knowledge or participation, we also don’t know.

And with Louis V ends the line of what is known as the Carlovingian  race of the kings of France, in the merry merry month of May in 987.


Which is as good a good place as any to end this little story methinks. 

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