Renegade, Rebel, Rogue, and Riley are out west and out of cash.
It seeming to be the thing to do in such situations, they rob a bank and run for their lives.
Their horses are waiting just outside of town on the other side of a cliff where they can’t be seen so the bank-robbers run up the easy side of said cliff and leap off the top of the sheer side to land neatly in their saddles.
And they’re off!
The posse chases them of course and they ride into the nearby desert to hide out until the heat is off.
Unfortunately for them, they've chosen the desert for a hide-out and the heat doesn't GO off. Except at night when they realize they've no blankets.
Shivering their way through the night they begin to wonder about themselves.
Now they've got money all right, but no-place to spend it. They can't even have a fire to help with the shivering because the posse is out there somewhere not too far away and would most certainly see their fire if they started one.
What the heck is wrong with this picture?
I'm pretty sure this isn't the way these things are supposed to work.
They dig through their saddle bags and find a few things they've tucked away for a rainy day; not that it's raining being as they're in a desert and all, but they figure their situation is dire enough to qualify anyhow.
Riley has an assortment of candies that little old ladies just seem bound and determined to hand out to her on a regular basis for no discernible reason.
Rogue has a few sticks of jerky.
Rebel has some juice boxes he always has on hand in case his six kids get thirsty; and some dried fruit in case they get hungry.
Renegade has some tortillas she snagged from that place they ate at before they ran out of cash – homemade of course and very tasty.
They’re too upset to eat, what with breaking the law and then getting chased from hell to breakfast, but they take an inventory and aren’t very encouraged by what they find.
So they shiver their way through the cold desert night and eat their supplies for breakfast in the morning.
The next day they’re grateful they listened to Rebel when he nagged them to FILL their canteens before they robbed the bank.
And off they go as they catch a glimpse of dust in the morning air – it seems to be coming their way so they make some dust of their own as they dust on out of there in a fast hurry.
Down the trail a piece they see another cloud of dust with another coming along right behind it.
‘The desert’s a busy place this morning,’ says Rogue as they pull up to see what they can see.
‘Ain’t it just,’ says Renegade.
‘Well, now what?’ Riley wants to know. ‘If we go that way the posse will get us; if we go that way over there we’ll run smack into that one dust cloud, and the other way we’ll hit the first dust cloud. Are there any other clouds of dust around here we need to know about?’
‘I don’t see any but that wagon train up there seems to be dead in the water; it isn’t moving.’
Riley says, ‘Dead in WHAT water? This is a Desert here!’
‘Well you know what I mean. It’s just sitting there right in front of us. We don’t have to turn off at all, just ride right on in. I bet their little old ladies will give us candy.’
And so they do.
The wagon train has seen the clouds of dust and circled their wagons in case it’s a band of Wild Indians.
Turns out that first dust cloud IS a band, although they aren’t exactly Wild, and up they come to the circled wagons hollering something about Easterners.
Easterners out West?
What the heck.
So they let the Indians into the circle and everyone shoots at the Easterners as they ride around and around the wagons.
Since the Easterners started shooting first, this is self-defense.
Rogue wants to know, ‘What’s wrong with those guys? They couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn!’
And she calmly goes back to emptying saddles.
Riley answers, ‘I don’t know but there sure are a lot of them!’
Out of ammunition she switches over to using a sling and keeps pace with Rogue in the emptying of saddles out there.
Renegade has borrowed an extra bow and is shooting darts as fast as she can get the arrows set and off the string.
Rebel is busy darting around inside the circle checking on everyone and making sure they’re all okay, which they are but some are getting tired so he spells someone now and then as the hot day just gets hotter.
A couple of Easterners who have fallen off their horses try to sneak in between the wagons but Riley promptly gives them a whirling kick or two or three and sends them flying back out again where they land among their cohorts and knock a few more of them from their saddles in the process.
Rogue gives Riley a high five and then gets busy her own self with a few more un-horsed Easterners, picking them up by the scruffs of their necks and the seats of their pants and heaving them clear over the tops of the wagons to get them back outside of the circle where they belong.
Renegade never seems to run out of her little darts.
‘How come you never seem to run out of your little darts?’ asks Riley.
‘Well I have here a poison pen,’ answers Renegade. ‘See?’ And she waves an ordinary-looking pen in the air. ‘It never runs out of ink and that’s what I load my darts with. They won’t kill anybody but they sure as hell can knock a person for a loop. I keep it separate from all my other pens, you know, and only use it if someone really has it coming. Some say the pen is mightier than the sword, but you have to load them with the right kind of ink, dontcha know.’
Suddenly into the melee comes a blood bay horse with a screaming banshee on top of it.
Now the Easterners are shocked into dead silence by this apparition – which shock said apparition takes full advantage of with the two pistols she’s firing with both hands as she rides, standing in her stirrups and cutting loose with some almighty loud screams and yells for such a mite of a girl.
The noise has the Indians looking at each other and then at her. They’re impressed.
So in she comes, leaping her horse into a space between the circled wagons.
The Easterners recover themselves and go back to riding around the wagons shooting at all and sundry but not hitting anyone thank goodness.
Their saddles are rapidly emptying as the Westerners are way better shots.
But there are a lot of them and they just won’t let up.
Finally the posse catches up and being respecters of law and order and badges the remaining Easterners give up and turn themselves in.
Turns out they’ve been wreaking havoc in the West for some time now and there’s a bounty on their heads, dead or alive.
Well none of them are dead which is a great relief to everybody since nobody really wanted to kill anyone, just get them to leave them alone. They’ve mostly just been scared senseless by the whizzing of arrows and gunshots that somebody else besides them are producing. Somehow it had never crossed their alleged minds that somebody might shoot BACK at them someday.
Since the money from the bank is covered by insurance the posse lets the bank-robbers keep it – but they divvy it up with the Indians and the wagon train people.
And, when the reward money gets to the posse they send shares of it along to the outlaws.
Now that they’ve got plenty of money again the outlaws leave the owl hoot trail and go back onto the straight path.
Rebel buys actual candy for his kids with part of his share because Riley and Rogue have yelled at him for only having healthy stuff.
‘They’re KIDS, Rebel! Kids have to have CANDY once in a while!’
Thanking the girl for showing up in the nick of time to give them that bit of an edge they needed to hang on until the posse got there, they find out her name is Reckless.
‘I’m an orphan girl and this here is my horse Roger,’ she says.
And so they take her along with them and she comes in mighty handy now and again.
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