I WEEP, I WEEP

When it gets to the point that I'm seriously upset for no absolutely discernible reason, when even the most valid of personal and family reasons can't account for the Power of ... I don't even know of any words to use that would make sense ... feelings doesn't come close, dread maybe? ... apprehension? ... disturbance in my soul? ... whatever it is, it occasionally hits me so hard that I know I have to see if I can find out what's behind it.

Anyway, as a general rule I try to avoid watching and/or reading the news, because so much of it impacts me so hard that ... well ... carrying on with life as usual gets darned difficult.

Tonight I finally checked, knowing it was going to hurt ... and it does.

It hurts to the marrow of my bones and straight through every cell in me. 

Peace.

Remember what that is, what it means?

How in God's green world am I supposed to reconcile the command for Peace, at least within my own self if no-place else, with the emotions wrought by what's going on out there?

Where now the Peace, when the Warrior wants badly to go to battle?

For quite a long while now an ancient Lament has dominated the songs that run through my mind all the time.

One of my fictional Characters seems to have become fond of saying, 'The wheel goes 'round and 'round ...'

And it seems he's right.

Another cries out, 'Enough! Please let this be enough!'

When will it be enough?

When will we finally cry out, 'Enough!'

Seems to me that we ought to be well past that time.

Seems to me that there ought to be more of us in this world who would that we had Peace than those who would choose otherwise.

Where now our Voices?

I have nothing to speak of in any sense the world at large could understand, my own small Voice being all I've got. On this night I wish it were louder, bigger, stronger ... but, you know, even a small and lonely Voice is heard by the Almighty.

'Enough!' cries the small and lonely Voice in the night.

'Please, please let it be enough!'

Why can't we be done with whatever it is we choose to fight about?

Is there not only One God, the Same God?

Whose is different?

None.

There is ONLY ONE.

To each and all is given the Gift of Choice.

Who can dare to challenge that?

What is there of God in such a challenge?

Nothing.

It isn't up to any of us to presume to choose for another, to question or deny the validity of the path which is given to another to walk. 

Yet we do so presume ... again and again and again ... 

And so the tears rise.

And so the tears course.

And so the tears fall.

Again.

And again.

And yet again.

When will it be enough? 

What are we doing to ourselves?

I want to shout, 'Stop it! Just stop!'

My one small and lonely Voice ... 

Weeping in the night, mourning ... 

Politics, religion, power and control issues, differences of opinion ... people have always and will always be at odds about something or other. Has killing each other ever really worked? Not so's you'd notice.

Really, there's only one thing we all ought to agree on and agree to disagree on the rest of it: Peace. 

It has never happened. It may never happen.

And yet ...

And yet ...

It is not worth wanting, worth working toward, worth praying for each in whatever way best suits?

Ah, I'm sentimental and an idealist. 

Also a bit over-tired at the moment. 

It feels as though the entirety of the world weeps, and me along with it. Why cannot everyone just stop it and let others be as they are Called to be without making a huge issue of it - and let those of us who feel the world's pain have a bit of a rest? 

No rest for the weary I reckon.

Which kinda sucks at times.

Yeah, the Warrior wants a fight. 

But no ... Spiral trumps Sword ... and the Song trumps Spear ... and the wheel goes 'round and 'round ... 

And I weep.

I weep.

The Lament rides my heart and it has cruel spurs and a relentless whip.

Into my hands goes my face and I weep with the pain of our world.