Tears Rise, Course, Drop

Two things that I can identify are keeping me awake on this night.

One are the tears that will not stop.

The other is wondering where we are in the turning of the Wheel and the spinning of the Spiral. 

The two are connected, I know that; both have been on my mind.

Today I was making small wooden disks into things to use at some of my promotional events - and thinking about the double spiral.

Here's a sampling of the disks:

See the ones shaped like teardrops, or maybe raindrops?

Those represent the healing properties of tears, in particular the tears we weep for someone else. It is in the tears we weep for another that our own healing really begins.

As for the turning of the Wheel and the Spiral, here's what I had in the back of my mind all day today:

And I find myself wondering where we are on that double twist. 

Are we only just at the turning point, or are we closer to where the original Spiral 'began' than we think? If the former, are we as a 'civilization' going to have to once again follow all of the turns to get back to the 'beginning' - I sure hope not. 

Well no, it oughtn't to really matter to me, right? I'll be long gone ... but still ... it would kind of suck to have to retrace all the stuff that we as a race of beings just got done with - relatively speaking.

Maybe that's part of what brought the tears on tonight, who knows? 

Thinking about what our past generations have gone through is fresh in my mind as I prepare to (finally) write the last of the 'Mamm Books' and the Alianora set begins to take shape.

The sets within the series, and the times the will take place in, are of course all troubling to think about.

Is there ANY time frame in human history that isn't troubling to think about?

I don't think so.

How come is it that 'we' can be so darned smart about stuff and so bloody stupid at the exact same time? 

What good are all of the 'advances' if we're killing ourselves from the inside out?

It's that twist in the double spiral thing.

Here we are bopping right along in so many areas and the Spiral is spinning and spinning to beat the band - taking us all along for the ride ... but are we even heading the right direction any more?

What the heck.

If we keep this up, we're gonna end up right back where we started, only this time there will be no place to go. 

Not so sure I like the sound of that much.

The Spiral is supposed to go out and out and never stop. 

Have we managed to twist it so that now we're just going around and around, turning the Spiral in on itself?

What are we going to do when we get 'back to the beginning'? 

Where the heck are we going to go from there?

Phooey.

No wonder the tears won't stop.

Am I weeping for us, for the ones who came before us with a legacy dearly bought, or for those who will follow us and will have to try to cope with what we have wrought?