Writing Fiction Can Get to A Person

Actually, the writing part went pretty well for me.  

It's the sketches that are getting to me.  

A couple of them I put off doing until I couldn't put it off any longer - so tonight I HAD to do them.  

Sketching weapons into the hands of the character Sass in my story was one of the hardest things I've had to do and it was AWFUL!  

See, she's a healer in the story, dedicated to - well, to HEALING - all living things.  It's what she does, it's who she IS.  

But her people are attacked and so she must arm herself and go to battle, where she has to use spear and sword.  

Of all the characters in my story, Sass is the one most wounded by the battle, but of course she can't just leave the people who need her afterwards to go off and heal her inside self.

She has to do what she has to do, and she does it well.  

But putting those weapons into her hands, even though it was NECESSARY, still was very hard for me to do.  

I KNOW it's just a character in a work of fiction.  I know that.  And the rough sketches are done now so I can move on to others that still need to be done.  

Here's a helpful hint:

If you are INFJ and doing a writing/sketching project, do the ones you know will be hard for you to do FIRST.  

It doesn't get any easier, putting them off, and you may as well get them out of the way ASAP.  

Just sayin'.

One More Edit On The Written Part Of My Project

YAY!  

I'm not going to do the edit until next week so I'll have a few days to let it all settle and give myself a little space from it.  

Meanwhile ... I get to go back to the artwork with a clear conscience!  

This whole project has been fun and I'm already looking forward to using everything I've learned on the NEXT one!  

Nerve-wracking, I Tell You! Nerve-wracking! Fear Of Success ...

Never seriously drew people before in my life. 

Never. 

Ever. 

Now I'm doing the sketches for the project I'm working on, using the faces of my FAMILY for heaven's sake, and it's driving me crazy! 

I can kind of cope with the whole concept up to a point, and then I freak out. 

The weird thing is that they're beginning to actually look like the models; that scares me some. 

See, if I couldn't get ANY of them right I could just say oh well what the hell I guess I really CAN'T do this - and call it quits. 

The one I'm working on right now is Sass again - different pose, different medium - and I had to stop for a while because she's coming along just FINE! 

I know. 

That sounds bass-ackwards. 

Even so, that's the way it is. 

Fear of success is debilitating.

PRAY FOR PEACE

What with one thing and another, my prayer is that this day will pass in peace and that calm dignity will prevail. 

God bless us every one. 

Please PLEASE guide our leaders, whether they want You to or not, in the choices that must be made. 

Please God, can we not have just ONE day of peace? 

I am but one tiny molecule in the body of the world, but please hear this prayer and fill the spirits of ALL with peace, just for this one day. 

Brain Dead Here

I finally have a little time to think about the story thing I'm working on and what happens? 

I go brain dead. 

THAT's a heck of a deal. 

Well yeah, it's going on the middle of the night and I'm yawning after putting in a long shift at work. 

It might be a good idea for me to hit the hay, get some rest, and THEN try to be creative. 

No, I have to get up and mow my yard(s) in the morning before it gets too hot.  THEN I can get to work on the story. 

I hope. 

One Cheap Lawn Mower + One Cheap Tire = One Paycheck

And ain't THAT just a sad commentary on Life as I know it. 

Still A Long Way To Go

I have to laugh at myself. 

I'm a couple of months into a major project the likes of which I have never before attempted and I'm fretting because it's not already done. 

I DO have a significant amount accomplished, thank God, but there's still a lot more to go! 

I have 144 pages of text as finished as I'm going to get it and a bunch of artwork in various stages of completion. 

I have yet to do: 

144 character text pages
144 sketches
12  portraits
12  paintings

Is it just me or does the number twelve seem to be dominating this thing? 

One break that I AM giving myself is that I'm going to treat each of the twelve chapters as individual 'books' and finish them one at a time - God Willing and Characters Permitting. 

Also, from here on out it ought to go a lot more quickly as the basic story has been told and that will help when it comes to filling in details with the characters' inputs and the sketches.